Go to any bookstore in the world, and you’ll inevitably find the self help, careers or leadership section filled with books about how to “be better”.  They might have approaches or techniques, but they all focus on how to help you be better, perform better, or act better.  Almost every one of them has a formula you can follow which will make the process easier, and people go into it thinking “all I have to do is read the book”.  That’s what drives the multi-billion dollar self-help industry.

My personal favourite was a model that said you can do anything if you just count down from 5.  Just decide what you need to do next, count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and do it.  With that simple technique you can overcome any obstacle in your way to live the life you want, get that promotion or change how you lead your team.  The model stopped just short of curing cancer, but it would help you lose weight.

Here's the sad truth of it all...nothing worthwhile in life is that easy.  It takes hard work, commitment and dedication.  It takes time, practice and patience.  It takes willpower, negotiation and a whole lot of faith.

Go back to the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 example.  On the face of it, that’s pretty easy, however remembering that you need to use this trick is actually quite difficult.  Sure, you’ll do it for the first couple of hours, maybe a couple of days, but to make sure you are still doing it in 2 or 3 weeks takes some focused effort and hard work.

In his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson asks the question “What are you willing to struggle for?”.  It’s a poignant question that stuck with me as soon as I read it.  Because you are going to suffer as you grow and change.  Things will be uncomfortable.  You’re going to have to work hard. And there are times you’re not going to know what you’re doing.

Don’t get me wrong, change and growth is possible.  And taking the time to do it right and make it stick can be life changing.  However if you go into it without knowing the work it will take, and having the willingness to persevere through the struggle, you’re only setting yourself up for failure.

With all that said, there are ways to lessen the load of the work.  Things like uncovering what you truly want, knowing where to focus your effort and energy for maximum impact, and finding people to help you along the journey.  All things which help, but are often overlooked or skimmed over.

So, as you start out on your journey as yourself: What am I willing to struggle for?